Today marks the end of the waiting period in regards to the court decision. I thought we could begin to wrap it up today but I guess we have to wait until tomorrow. Our Translator will come back to us on the am train from Kiev. She said it will take 2 days to get the birth certificate in order. We are supposed to leave here on the train on Wed. evening for Kiev. Once there the only thing remaining is her passport which again should take no more than 2 days. This ofcourse takes the rest of the week and we can only hope there are no further delays as our flight leaves on Sunday. The people working for us here that we have hired if you like say they will do everything in their power to get us on our flight. I would be more comfortable if we had another day to play with but we don't, so I guess we'll see how good our guys are here at getting it done. Many times we've heard its not our problem and they will take care of it. Ofcourse they fall short of making any garantees as they know as well we are in Ukraine and that says it all.
I have had to take stock , or do a personel inventory of my own statis many times over the last number of weeks. If you have been following our journey thus far you have seen me run the whole gammet at one point or another. Have I been guilty of a little fair-weather faith at times, you bet. As I sit here at this point and realize just where we're at with things I can say yes and that I have faith and I do trust in the final outcome. To be completely honest my faith in God will always be a constant, but I will look back on this whole thing and remember the poem , Footprints in the sand. One thing that I do know is that when I am weak He is strong. Paul at one point boasted in his weaknesses realizing this very thing. I want to thank you sis for the words of encouragement we all need to be reminded at times. Well I need to get back to the apartment as we have a few things to take care of today, love you all , catch you later , Randy
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9 comments:
Hang in there Randy,almost over now.You are sounding tired and this has to take some toll on you.You guys have gone through so many emotions in such a short period of time.Must be worse than a rollercoaster.Our thoughts are with you all.Take care.
Barb & Don
Randy & Debbi
We can't begin to understand what you have gone through there, but we know the one who does!! Giving all your troubles to Him daily for you...Love and Prayers
Anna & Dick
Hi Randy, Hang tough only a week and you will be in Yarmouth driving your truck and doing what you always do making people happy.Will be very happy to see you. love Mom
Hi Randy, Hang tough only a week and you will be in Yarmouth driving your truck and doing what you always do making people happy.Will be very happy to see you. love Mom
Keith here...I am not sure what happened, I thought I had posted my long post about attachment, but I can't see it. So I will post it again. (Lucky to have written it in Word)
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I don't either know what it is Randy, but you guys have our hearts wrapped up in your adoption. I find the way you face issues and even express your feelings is so very similar to myself. Ha Is that a good thing or bad?
I would like to share something here with R&D, as well as with their friends and family. I hope I don't make any enemies. Yikes. But it is a subject that is sensitive and I wished someone could have told our families a few things ahead of time instead of us trying to tell them this once we started seeing a few problems. It might be stuff that you all have thought about and have discussed already, but I will risk it. Randy and Deb can shoot me down and tell you all that this doesn’t apply to them, and I will be all the happier for them, but I suspect they might agree with me here...
This is about attachment and bonding. An orphanage child often does not have the same circuits of attachment and dependency wired up in their little heads yet, and so that causes problems in a parent / adopted child relationship. Look at bonding like... bonds or ropes. A rope is made of many strings or fibers. Many strings make a strong rope. A strong child-to-parents bond is made when there are repetitions of a child having a need, and then getting the need supplied. A child cries and it gets held and comforted; a child is hungry/gets fed. She gets a splinter/dad pulls it out. She feels sad/mom hugs her. She throws a tantrum/she gets held till she gives in. etc etc etc Every one of these things, and many others, is not a bad thing!! Those are OPPORTUNITIES to make another string of attachment, to make that bond strong,(almost imperceptibly at times). Every time she cries or has a problem, it is an opportunity to teach her where her security is (in her parents). Even a little thing like Dad or Mom being the one to hand her a drink of water when she’s thirsty helps that develop. And it is VERY important that an adopted child develops that bond to her parents. It rewires the brain and sets a strong base for life. All other attachments to grandparents, uncles and aunts, friends, and even future husband, will largely be based upon and strengthened by a strong attachment to parents.
Now when a child comes home from Ukraine for example, she has been with these new people for a few weeks maybe, and there simply has not been time for that bond to have happened yet. It is started, but.... just barely. A year from now and you will see that it will be completely different, and in 2 years I think we all (even us in our situation with Christina) will see that it is even better yet.
So, my advice to the extended family is to give them plenty of space for awhile. To have too many people around at first confuses a child, and since others usually are happy to see her, and bring her presents and smile at her, yet never have to discipline her,… she could actually be confused as to who she really loves. A week after we were home we took Christina to the doctor for a checkup and in the waiting room she got off my lap to go get a book, and when she returned, she tried to climb into the lap of a grizzled old man who had smiled at her. We told him what the deal was and he immediately stopped paying her attention, and told me... "You need to train her to be scared of strangers, her friendliness is not a good thing for her." It was thought provoking.
If R&D are like us... they will sometimes sit and smile outwardly, and yet cringe abit inside, at the attention Nastya will get from the rest of you well meaning friends, and the way she will be so overly friendly right back. Our girl was smaller so we had to finally tell our friends that it was best if they did not hold her. We felt like selfish parents, but I feel that we did the right thing by restricting her from others, especially for the first few months. Every child is different, but we didn't take her to church or give her too much contact with any family or friends for quite some time, till we felt she was settled. And I know that it paid off well. So I know this is totally weird for me to be saying all this to you all, but if it helps….. then I am willing to say it.
Nastya is no.1, and the best way to love her is step back abit, let R&D look after her and any of her little needs. Allow Randys and her to settle and bond as a unit for a while. If Randys seem hesitant to resume full-bore social life, support them and pray for them.
I must say though, that it appears that R&D have awesome friends and family. You are all so blessed.
Keith
(feeling really weird and humble right now)
Hi Randy & Deb,
Keep taking one day at a time - you've been thru alot of major steps these last few weeks and still have a great attitude (despite the Ukraiian surprises ) and a GREATER GOD !!
You're in our thoughts and prayers.
Barb A
Randy-Debbie & Nastya,
As your journey comes closer to the end know that you have touched many of us with your grace and love that is such an obvious part of who you are.
Hi Debbie and Randy,
I'm amazed to understand how you have overcome all the trying and obstacle in this adoption's journey. (praise the Lord).
To read your journey, try to understand your obstacle , your difficulty ........................
I start counting your blessing to be there ( your daughter's original country ). This will be the biggest asset for both you to understand her while you are parenting her in Yarmouth. You will be her only sources until she feel comfortable with others.
Also through all this experience,
I see a wider picture as :
God has a much bigger planning in your life for His Glory. Than what we can see now.
Congratulation for you choice to obey Him and Stand still for Him.
My pray will accompany your journey until the three of you arrive back in Yarmouth.
Liana H.
We've had some wild winter here the past few days. I was thinking this past Sunday night that it was good in a way that your original plans for arrival on that day didn't turn out. We were experiencing a winter storm that dumped lots of snow Sunday night/Monday morning. Your flight may well have been delayed or re-routed. Monday would have been difficult to get to airport and the weather was moving east, so you'd have been flying with it only to hit Halifax and perhaps face a 3 1/2 hour drive in it. I was thankful for God's planning once again. We are expecting another storm (ice/snow) here on Thursday (when I'm supposed to leave to drive to Cinncinatti), but it should be clear by Sunday for your arrival. We are experiencing a gas shortage in Ontario as well. Many gas stations closed and the price of gas jumping a few cents a day. They are talking rationing, but should be back to normal by next week. A fire at a refinery and a rail strike is causing all the mess. (Just like me to give you the blow by blow of the news and weather eh? Dad's influences run deep!)
Suspect that today is a travel day to Kiev; God's speed!
Laura
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